Thursday, March 31, 2011

"Okay, So there is this very toxic substance..."

I love Overlord monologues that start with the words:
"Alright boys, we have a new job. MA-1, as you all know, has fallen into disfavor. He was licensed, certified, and qualified for this job. And you aren't. But nevermind, that is unimportant. I have a job for you. There's this stuff, I want you to apply to our product before we ship it.

"Overminion LL-A will explain your part in this."

Overminion LL-A is the biggest minion around, except for Overminion TR-A and Minion WP-2. He is bigger than your average gorilla, evil tempered, vile smelling, cunning, and maliciousumm? overminion [yes, we'll use overminion].

I found overminion LL-A in his dwelling: a building with four walls and a door. He looked at me and said, "Ah D, I was just waiting for you. To implement your Overlord's new plan. Okay, so there is this very toxic subtance..." [I fell into a form of trance at this point.]

To sum up apparently my Great and Powerful Overlord: "He Who Must Be Obeyed, AND Not Made To Wait" wants this "stuff" that requires a full-body suit and SCBA equipment applied to his new product, immediately, by yours truly.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Two weeks on the rack really loosens you up.

A word of warning to anyone who doesn't know what thumbscrews are: THEY ARE PAINFUL!

My most powerful Overlord had his brand new cfc [2010] destroyed by a falling minion. MA-1 "fell" off the battlements. Since Minion B was up there, too; "fell" is probably less accurate than some other terms I can think of. But who wants to tell the great and terrible Overlord that you kinda, sorta pushed someone of the battlements on to his new truck's hood?

Now that MA-1 is recovering nicely from his fall, they released me from the rack. I still think that was a lowsy punishment for burning a couch he doesn't even use.