Long Time No Work

Fortune smiles upon us, warm days no need for further heating of drafty fortress complex. Spring has come with little yummy birds and tasty rabbits and green things growing in the courtyard. Yes, certain green things are edible, not good, but edible. And easier to catch.

The castle is very creepy without anyone here, but Minion D.. We talk often, but rarely reach any definite conclusions. One we have reached is that the Overlord is not here. Will the Overlord return? We don't know.

Minion S.'s hovel is empty. We can find no minions anywhere. Is there a seven-year spring migration that we were not informed of?

Getting Desperate

No work.

No Overlord.

This sucks.

Laid off

Got laid off from my job.

Back to grovelling before the nonexistential form of the Mighty Overlord.

I wish I could find him just to be sure of where he is.

"Okay, So there is this very toxic substance..."

I love Overlord monologues that start with the words:
"Alright boys, we have a new job. MA-1, as you all know, has fallen into disfavor. He was licensed, certified, and qualified for this job. And you aren't. But nevermind, that is unimportant. I have a job for you. There's this stuff, I want you to apply to our product before we ship it.

"Overminion LL-A will explain your part in this."

Overminion LL-A is the biggest minion around, except for Overminion TR-A and Minion WP-2. He is bigger than your average gorilla, evil tempered, vile smelling, cunning, and maliciousumm? overminion [yes, we'll use overminion].

I found overminion LL-A in his dwelling: a building with four walls and a door. He looked at me and said, "Ah D, I was just waiting for you. To implement your Overlord's new plan. Okay, so there is this very toxic subtance..." [I fell into a form of trance at this point.]

To sum up apparently my Great and Powerful Overlord: "He Who Must Be Obeyed, AND Not Made To Wait" wants this "stuff" that requires a full-body suit and SCBA equipment applied to his new product, immediately, by yours truly.

Two weeks on the rack really loosens you up.

A word of warning to anyone who doesn't know what thumbscrews are: THEY ARE PAINFUL!

My most powerful Overlord had his brand new cfc [2010] destroyed by a falling minion. MA-1 "fell" off the battlements. Since Minion B was up there, too; "fell" is probably less accurate than some other terms I can think of. But who wants to tell the great and terrible Overlord that you kinda, sorta pushed someone of the battlements on to his new truck's hood?

Now that MA-1 is recovering nicely from his fall, they released me from the rack. I still think that was a lowsy punishment for burning a couch he doesn't even use.

The Overlord is Gone. {Part I and 2}

The Overlord is gone. I have no idea where he went or when he left. All the other minions are gone, too. The castle and caves are very quiet. Only six furnaces belch smoke into the pristine atmosphere. [It is still cold. I had to have some source of heat. I hope he doesn't mind that I used his old couch as fuel.]

...

[The above was interupted by the Overlord looking for his old couch.]

So if you're desperate for a minion, remember me, please.

Cold and Evil Overlord

I was apprehended smoking in the castle [It's COLD outside.] by my Overlord. It's not like he doesn't have thousands of furnaces belching smoke at all hours of the day and night, but one little cigarette in the courtyard, and he goes berserk. I even put the butts in the trash, unlike Minion K. or MA-1. Still he started yelling at me. Telling me what a good-for-nothing, lazy minion I am. I should be grateful for a snug cave and not go out of my way to antagonize him. [Believe me, I would have preferred to avoid his notice. not antagonize the Overlord.]

Besides where does he get off thinking thenotionI'm lazy? I got a job, didn't I? I donate a hundred percent of my earnings to the financial security of the castle, minus a small portion for motivational activities: fuel and alcohol, mostly. [oh... and tobacco, but that is a de minimis amount compared to the fuel and alcohol.]

So now I must smoke outside the castle.

Any Overlords out there desiring a smoking, not burning, [I don't like burning, at all] minion?