Cold and Evil Overlord

I was apprehended smoking in the castle [It's COLD outside.] by my Overlord. It's not like he doesn't have thousands of furnaces belching smoke at all hours of the day and night, but one little cigarette in the courtyard, and he goes berserk. I even put the butts in the trash, unlike Minion K. or MA-1. Still he started yelling at me. Telling me what a good-for-nothing, lazy minion I am. I should be grateful for a snug cave and not go out of my way to antagonize him. [Believe me, I would have preferred to avoid his notice. not antagonize the Overlord.]

Besides where does he get off thinking thenotionI'm lazy? I got a job, didn't I? I donate a hundred percent of my earnings to the financial security of the castle, minus a small portion for motivational activities: fuel and alcohol, mostly. [oh... and tobacco, but that is a de minimis amount compared to the fuel and alcohol.]

So now I must smoke outside the castle.

Any Overlords out there desiring a smoking, not burning, [I don't like burning, at all] minion?